For Lent I'm giving up kale, yams, beets, rhubarb, MySpace, polkas, slides, craft beer, Fox News, colonoscopy preps, texts, texting, Governor Rauner, snow, sub-zero temperatures, leg-cramps, out of tune instruments, stubbing big toe into coffee table, vinegar on chips, ketchup, unknown callers, Jay Cutler, and jagoffs.

Wait, what do you mean you are supposed to give up things you like??? Oh... :-))

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